black socks, naked bodies
are best on total strangers
it eases the fear
In college, Communication 101 was the source of stomach knots, dry throat, and the constant need to pee. For some odd reason, I have a strong urge to pee when I am really nervous. I went to a small private college so the class of 20 something seemed packed. I didn’t know a soul the day I walked in the room. Not that it really mattered. I would have been afraid anyway. Getting up each week to speak about my thoughts on littering, my favorite poem, and my favorite thing to do created a tremble in my legs that I found hard to shake. 😉 Then came the black socks. I think I saw the idea on a TV show. Imagine the audience naked and in black socks and it will help you overcome your fear. Well, it did and it didn’t work. Imagining strangers naked is just weird. However, thinking about how weird it is to think about strange naked butts in seats, sort of takes your mind off of public speaking. I survived that class with a pair of black socks. Today, I have tossed the socks and say a simple prayer before I have to teach, speak, or instruct: Lord, I believe I can do all things through you that strengthens me. It works every time.
I am careful to make the words precise,
to make them do what they are supposed to do
But as I slip into more comfortable circles,
the words relax and begin to do what they want
I am eating a piece of PEE-can pie instead of pee-KAHN,
which I wash down with a soda,
while my northern husband drinks a pop
I laugh at the kids and yell,
“Good Lord, what are ya’ll doing tryin’ to catch those lighting bugs in that jug!”
Is that really me
I hear Mama from Mama’s Family instead of myself
It is my south
It owns my words when it wants to
Transforms my tongue into someone that dudden’t (I mean doesn’t),
quite sound like me
When I hear a recording of my voice, I can’t believe how southern I sound.
I am not sure why I am surprised. I was an Army brat that was born, grew up, and traveled to mostly southern states. I wouldn’t say I can’t stand the way I sound, but I even surprise myself as other southerners point out my southern drawl.
Hushed whispers as I walk up
You turn and
say, “You are so wonderful!”
But as I slip on my cloak and you look straight through me
I listen in on conversations that sound quite different
She’s such a witch, I don’t even know why I pretend to be her friend
She’s a cow
And as I reappear and I look in your eyes
Your smile returns
You grab my arm
walk with me down the hall
and tell me how wonderful I am
Do you remember middle and high school? Girls could be really mean! They still can be. In fact, they made a whole movie about them! I remember wondering if conversations that came in whispers were about me! Unfortunately, there were girls that I did question the sincerity of their friendships’. I don’t think any of them felt like the “friend” in the poem. But If I could have the superpower of invisibility I would definitely listen in on those hushed conversations.
God give us the wisdom to know friend from foe. Bring people in our lives that we can trust and take great care with our hearts.
because we are broken
we cannot provide comfort
or dry tears
or snuggle in tight
or offer a hand to hold
I want to write about happy
lay words that will engorge hearts
but we are broken
I am broken
Life is hard and when we are broken it can stop creativity. Praise God that he is the healer of hearts. I am no longer broken. Be blessed today.